Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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