A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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What did the black guy say in the phone? Hello

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops