Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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Pull my finger ouch..

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops