Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down -7

That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man... walks.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops