What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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sharks

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Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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lol

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Women's rights...

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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