Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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