An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama is so fat, Dora couldn't explore her. Yo mama is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super bowl. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture and screamed he was gonna be a millionare.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

That's illegal What? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops