A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

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Lindsay Lohan

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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spell backwards: taco cat

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops