What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops