why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your social life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mama is so stupid that she is currently taking courses in a community college to get her degree in business so she can have a well-paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why were the African, Asian and Mexican men thrown out of the bar the barman was a racist

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops