- Anti Joke

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

hickory dickory dock no one cares

What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

Q. What happened when a man went to a bar? A. Nothing, The bar was closed.

roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...