What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Continents are large islands.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops