Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Of course, first door on your left

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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