What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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what happend when the AntiJoke Crossed the road? It pooped in the ... HIT BY A REFRIGERATOR.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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