Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

Hello.

Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...