Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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