A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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