A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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This is not a joke

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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