How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'm winning at Scrabble.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I like colin but not as much as apple

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

guys stop with the jewish jokes anne frainkly its getting old

thumb_up thumb_down +12

New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

OIO

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops