Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

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How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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my gramma died

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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I'm hungry.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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British Dentistry

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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My penis is big... not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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