What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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whats black and blue and has three legs? An abused deformed person.

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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Knock knock Come in

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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A black man, a mexican, and a christain are on an island. There are also many other people on the island, since all of North America and South America is one giant land mass.

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willie revilame

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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Knock knock. Who's there You are.

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Why did the girl kill herself? Because she was brutally raped

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops