- Anti Joke

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

What is a life without options.... an optionless life

It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

?J?o?k?e?

Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

Gun Control

Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

... i forgot the joke :p

Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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