hickory dickory dock no one cares

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

i am writing this because i felt like it.

What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

Andy Carrol

Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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