Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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there square amphibious wood gum flag homos CC

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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A horse walks in a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: I have aids.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops