what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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canada

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I grunt when I poop.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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No thank you, I don't like violence

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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Cool Brian

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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What's the difference between a book. A tree's leaves hit the trash cans

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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