Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +36

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

thumb_up thumb_down +36

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops