A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

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I'm hungry.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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British Dentistry

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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a horse walks into a blender ow

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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