Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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What happened to the convict on death row? He died

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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bees knees

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops