What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

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Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

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why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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quik reply fuckker, im at the room on the left at the uh... forgot anywayss third floor, to the end of the hospital, btw, I told The Goat and Fingern to wait for you at the entrance, and I paid them to kick your ass... WHOS YOUR DADDY! Well soon ill be your dad and the father of your sisters first kid! Man, relax, I told them to just drag you outside and kick you in the nuts, then some atomixc elbows and make u bleed... Your suufering is none of use of me if your ded, plz reply abut your sufferage when they are done, u really think id fight your dirty shit yourself? I AM THE LEADer THE ONE WHO KNOcKS! I DONT LIKE THE FIGHT! PEOPLE FIGHT FOR ME! IN MY NamEN MY GLORY!! Amen, you will soon become an uncle... Nah, tell your sis its a joke, I already told her I insist bangign her look at the pone Goat has in his poket, her last responz is "now?" and two smileys with eyes poppingg XD Seriously, if they are not already kicking your ass... Well, they sent me a pic, I suppose you will end up at the hospital too, looks bad kid... But you know the goat, that kid wants to kill, and probably has... ill let theem know that if thhhhey kill youu, they hmmm... then I cantt beat you um mysepf, so no killins in my name, reelas ill call em, but you are just bruise now, I want moar blood. Nero Metal, the coldest leader, of the universe. (dat tok like 6 mins to tyype so wort it, if you diee, i dont responsible for the goat, but i think finger will stop him zoon.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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