Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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Why does annie put 2 balls together? bacuse its makes a BUTT! oo

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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A man and a woman are in a bar. The man says, "Excuse me miss, but you're very attractive, may I please buy you a drink?" to which the woman replies, "Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've never been to Mexico."

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

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My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is black.

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

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one bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other drew thier swords and shot each other a deff policeman heard this noise came and shot the two dead boys if you dont believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too

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Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and due to genetics could not see well without the help of glasses.

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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. Martin was a lonely man

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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People Order Our Patties

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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