Knock knock Come in

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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