A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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derp

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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whats chinese noodles

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canada

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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The WNBA

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what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

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I grunt when I poop.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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women's rights.

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their is a box of mystery. wat is in that box?? do u no wat is in that box!?!?!?!?!?!?

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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