"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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cancer

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What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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