A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

Justin Bieber

Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

"You two form fours while I get the other one"

Roses are red Violets are blue There's always an Asian Better than you

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

What happens, when you give a blonde a Computer? She uses it like any other person because her haircolor has nothing to do with her Intelligence

why did the man die? he was shot

Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

where does someone with one leg work? -no where this is a recession

What's green, and looks like money? Money...

What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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