a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

who ever is reading this....

How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

Why did the blonde blow up? She ate a bomb.

What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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