A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

thumb_up thumb_down +10

While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a retarded black man? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The Christian prayed every night to God for a new bike. He kept it up for a year. Finally, he got a bike for his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops