Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops