Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Dylan is a person

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris screams in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down -3

if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops