A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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TRICERATOPS!

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops