Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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