Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Blacks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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