What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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