Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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