Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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