Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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