So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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Hi there! As the Director of Anti-Joke, I would like to thank the users for their contributions so far. We are currently raising money in order to gradually end our dependence on advertisements for revenue. Your participation is so important to us, and in order to continue our service we request a minimum donation of $100 for continued use of the Anti-Joke website. Please submit your payment by the end of November 2012. All major credit cards are accepted, as is PayPal. Thank you again for your cooperation and understanding as we grow in our services.

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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