Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A broken boomerang

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

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What looks like Micheal Jackson but isn't Micheal Jackson A black guy

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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