The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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God is real.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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