What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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^ That's not even funny ^

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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What's big and purple? Barney

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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