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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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