Women's rights

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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