Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops